When I first sought out information about sleep training, everything I read offered the same advice: create a consistent nighttime routine. My husband and I just didn't agree. We went against the grain and decided to do exactly the opposite of what all of the experts were recommending. As I write that, I chuckle a bit as that seems like the way we attack most things in life.
Here is how sleep training went at our house. As early as 8-10 weeks old we began putting our babies to bed in their own crib when they were tired but not yet asleep. If they began to cry, we let them cry for probably 5 minutes at first. If the crying continued beyond this amount of time, we would get them back up and comfort them just enough to settle them down before trying again. This process would be repeated as many times as needed until the baby fell asleep. There were many nights that I knew both of us could get more sleep, or fall asleep earlier, if I just slept with the baby in the chair. But then, I would remember that this would be setting me up for a routine that I was not ok with maintaining. Maybe I would be able to fall asleep earlier, but I knew that the quality of sleep would not be good for me co-sleeping. May work for some, I'm just too light of a sleeper.
Next thing, we continued normal activities and sound levels in the house whether our kids were sleeping or not. We ran the vacuum, hosted noisy family game nights, and kept the TV volume obnoxiously loud (against my wishes). No nightlights or sound machines were ever allowed. We even went so far as to purposely take away favorite blankets or stuffed animals every so often. That seems just flat out mean, right? Wrong!
Imagine you take off on a very overdue and much needed family vacation. You arrive at your hotel and get everyone settled in for the night when all of a sudden your child begins crying and demanding her favorite blanket that she needs to go sleep. Crap! It's no where to be found and you are 8 hours from home. Now the whole family is going to be sleep deprived the next day.
-OR-
Your child realizes that they don't have their favorite nighttime item. They let you know they are sad that they forgot it and yet they are still able to fall asleep...AND SO ARE YOU!!
In our house, bedtime doesn't look the same every night and that is ok. Sometimes we read books before bed, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we snuggle before bed, sometimes we don't. The only consistent that we try to maintain is a regular bedtime to allow for adequate sleep. Try it! I bet you will be surprised how smoothly the nighttime can be if your kids can learn to be flexible.
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