There are very few things in parenthood worse than a tantrum. During the toddler years, it is as if your child is a mini-volcano just waiting to explode. Unfortunately, you are not going to escape these years tantrum-free, no matter how good you are at this whole parenting thing. However, there are some things that you should be aware of and some actions that can be taken to make tantrums less frequent and less severe.
1. Tantrums are normal.
I think it is important for all parents to know that tantrums are simply part of your child's developmental process. As your child grows, they experience feelings and emotions like all other humans. The difference is young children don't have all of the verbal skills needed to express their emotions and needs in an acceptable manner. Feelings of anger, frustration and helplessness are difficult to explain for anyone, let alone someone who is in the midst of learning how to communicate. Add on not feeling well, hunger, or exhaustion and you have a recipe for disaster. Know that you are not alone and not a bad parent just because your child has had a tantrum.
2. Be Realistic
Parents need to know just how much of something their child can take before they are going to explode. Your little one cannot be expected to go all day without a nap, skip a meal, or be constantly stimulated. Plan your schedule according to their needs instead of expecting them to live in a rapid-paced adult world. Have to be on the go? Pack healthy snacks, adjust your schedule to allow for a nap, and find a quiet corner for some downtime in between the activities that NEED to be done.
3. Remain Calm
This one can be so difficult, especially in the midst of a tantrum. There just isn't any benefit from the adult escalating also. In fact, it will really only make things worse. One of my favorite quotes is "When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it is our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos."
4. Ignore
This isn't plausible in ALL situations. However, in many instances at home my children have thrown tantrums in an effort to get me to change my answer about something. One of the most effective things for this is to ignore. Sometimes I will simply restate, "I've already given you an answer" and then walk away. By not engaging, they will quickly see that their tantrum isn't going to get them what they want and they will stop the screaming or crying that much sooner.
Stay strong and know that this is a normal phase in your child's life and, despite how it seems, it will not last forever. As my grandma often said, "this too shall pass."
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