Man, oh man. I witnessed SO many parents miss opportunities to deal out a natural consequence for their child's misbehavior over the years. I used to love checking Facebook in the evening, just to find that the child who had a behavior issue that day was enjoying his evening on the ski hill with the rest of his family. Or the girl, who had to call mom to tell her about her poor choice at school, was having a blast at her friend's birthday party. I guess it wouldn't have bothered me so much if it wasn't for hearing the parents say "nothing seems to work" or "we just don't know how to get through to him/her."
You have to do something immediate and effective!
When leaving daycare one afternoon, my daughter threw a fit about having to put on her snow boots. I had two choices. I could try to argue or reason with her (and probably have to do so on future occasions) or give her a natural consequence right then and there. I opted for the latter. Out we went to the van with her boots in one of my hands and pulling her right behind me with my other hand as she walked thru the snow in her socks. (The van was warm and we have literally a 2 minute drive home, so I was sure she wasn't going to get frostbite). The next time she hesitated about getting her boots on, all I had to do was ask if she was going to put her boots on now or after she walked in the snow in socks.
The point is...the consequence needs to be something that makes an impact on your child. Take away the favorite toy. Add more chores. Lose out on going to the football game with the family. Without making an impact on your child, a consequence isn't very effective at stopping an unwanted behavior. However, this sometimes means that the
parents themselves lose out on something fun in order to stay home with the child who has to miss out. That sucks. I know. But please know that it is worth it. I mean what would you rather have: a child that attempts to improve their behavior to avoid future consequences or a night out skiing with the family? Both, really. We just can't always have both and we need to be strong enough to make the decision with the greatest rewards overall, not just in the moment.
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